I used to love Christmas. I really did! But ever since I had my own kids, something has just been off about the whole season. I have realized that I have been in a Christmas funk for about 12 years.
This year was really bad. I really had no interest in celebrating at all, and only put in the effort because of my kids. Money has been excruciatingly tight. Thankfully because of my blog and a little help from some very generous folks, we were able to put gifts under the tree for the kids. My husband and I however, did not have anything extra to buy gifts for each other. Now I really don’t care that I didn’t get any gifts, it just kills me that I could not spoil the crap out of my husband.
I love giving gifts to people. Just seeing their faces light up is the only gift I ever need. My extended family stopped exchanging gifts years ago as well, so the joy I felt growing up by giving my sisters the perfect gift is now gone too.
I know what you’re thinking…Christmas is not supposed to be about gifts. Well it still is a big part of it, no matter what anyone says. Just being realistic.
I think what I miss most about Christmas, is the family togetherness and traditions. I miss being with my sisters during Christmas. I miss separating and counting the presents, like we did as kids. I miss baking and making Christmas candies together. I miss listening and singing Christmas songs together. I miss waking up Christmas morning at some ungodly hour, putting on the biggest and heaviest boots we owned and jumping up and down on the floor trying to wake our sleeping parents. I just miss us being all together on Christmas morning.
It also seemed like there was also always snow on Christmas. I do have to admit that I am generally not a fan of the white stuff, but it does make it seem more Christmas-y! This year I should have bought the kids basketball systems, because the weather here in Maine has been so crazy warm!
I think it must be a culmination of everything because it seems that something is always missing for me at Christmas. Even though I have my new family at Christmas, I desperately miss my old family and crave my old family traditions.
Does anyone else have these feelings during the holidays or am I completely nuts?
Sounds like you may be struggling with Seasonal Affective Disorder. Your feelings are NOT uncommon!
Virginia from That Bald Chick recently posted..The Soulkeepers by G.P. Ching
Oh BETHY I feel the same way. yPU EXPRESSED JUST WHAT i HAVE BEEN FEELING.I know part of it is just growing up but having all the trials and tribulations of the past few years and then family who do not seem to care about the old traditions–so sad. Maybe in the future we canbring some of those cherished traditions back. Lets try ok? love you, mom
I can totally relate. I haven’t been in the holiday mood the last few years either. I forced myself to put a tree up this year and only did it for the kids. I think we crave the our childhood celebrations because they were put on for us. We didn’t know what all went into making Christmas happen. There is so much decorating, shopping, wrapping, cooking etc that we weren’t a part of because we were kids. As grownups we don’t have that wonderment of it all anymore.
Hang in there. I hope we both find that long lost Christmas spirit next year.
Elizabeth recently posted..Wordless Wednesday – My Family
I’ve been around a lot of Christmases. Whatever happened to the small gifts to each other? When I was a kid, 25 cents could buy a paperdoll book, a big comic book, etc., well, you can still do that with $1.00 at the dollar stores! If you have several children, let them give each other small gifts. Our parents only gave us girls a babydoll and they came from the five and dime, not your best dolls and a truck or car to my brother. That was our BIG gift. We got a couple of small gifts too. That was it. Guess what, we were still excited! We got our cedar tree in the woods and had simple ornaments with a sprinkling of decorations in the living room. We have no more money now than my parents had back in the fifties and it’s time we all started to realize that. My son had to tell his 8-year-old son that there is no Santa Claus because he was asking for high-dollar items, such as an Ipad. He hears all the other kids saying they are getting one. Do what you can afford, bake some cookies, enjoy your tree, and quit worrying about it. BTW, there was no snow when Jesus was born!
I don’t get that way, but my husband does.
alissa apel recently posted..Uncommon
I guess I should have added, it was a little hard this year. My Dad got sick with a tummy bug and missed EVERYTHING. My son Isaak threw up on Christmas Eve at 1 am, but bounced back. He wouldn’t eat anything for 2 days and still seems off.
I have been blue about one of my nephews. He was born with Trisomy 18 in June. Their life expectancy is on 10% live past age 1. My sister’s been a walking emotional wreck. Who can blame her really? Her 3 year old has been neglected from what I see. The baby, well he’s on O2 and an NG tube. My sister pumps and gives him her milk through the NG tube. He’s sick all the time! They are talking about jaw surgery and/or putting in a trach. He might die through surgery, could be on a ventilator the rest of his life and will be in a lot of pain!
I can’t stop crying over the whole ordeal! It’s just heartbreaking!
Those things did dampen Christmas this year.
alissa apel recently posted..Uncommon